Mike Butski is finally extracted from his hole by his new Welforce Agents. They stay in the Salvation Army box for shelter. And RaYzor calls his love/hate interest, David Scruanot.
#08 - (S)Hitman Comics, #08.3 - Butski's Funeral? - "“I’ve Never Been Stuck In A Hole For Two Days Before! Not Ever!”" | ||
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Cast of characters in this page:
Chace 'Chrusher' Kristoph (Chris 'Crusher' Stevenson)Chace Kristoph (formerly known as Chris "Crusher" Stevenson) is the main protagonist of this comic book and graphic novel. Hurled into the spotlight unwittingly, as he was just a regular, every day, normal high school freshman in Oswegonia, a childish game of one-upmanship between he, Mike Butski and Ron Foule became a full-fledged grudge match as time went on. Formed The Conquerors, a group of good ol' boy high schoolers of all stripes against mischievous, trouble-making classmates and later on, corrupt teachers. Raised by his mom and adoptive uncle Wesley "TrOgre" Stevenson (who he believed was his father for years, as his father was killed in Southeast Asia when he was a youth), he received a ruby-bloodstone crucifix from his grandfather which was apparently the induction into a mystic group of vigilantes known as the Chr'shr, a secret group of justice-seeking vigilantes that work outside of the restrictions of law in cases of criminals who also operate as otherwise untouchable by the law (or in control of it). His character the straight man amidst the craziness of the rest of the book, but often getting dragged into and joining the craziness of those around him. Strong moral fiber, intelligent, athletic, trained and highly-skilled in several martial arts, Chrusher later on becomes a private detective with a background in Forensic science and a skill at forensic art, while secretly being a member of the Ch'Shr secret society of vigilantes. Comics: 194 |
David ScruanotDave is a long-time friend to RaYzor and even a longer-time friend to Chrusher. Despite this, he said the famous term, "Everybody likes Ray, but nobody knows why!" Smart, yet a bit scatterbrained and messy. Dave comes from a middle-class family, yet joins Welforce in a heartbeat. When asked why, considering he could be a Conqueror with his bud Chrusher, he said, "I'd rather be leader of Welforce than a mid-ranked Conqueror". Kind of tough due to many wrestling matches with his sadistic older brother, played football for a season or two as well. Does NOT like Chad Chadtraw, who is the believed secret identity for "The White Ninja of Death". is exceedingly sex-crazed... obsessed with getting chick tail and doesn't care who he tries with, even if they don't even desire his advances. This includes the young, old, skinny, fat, pretty, ugly... it's all good. And unprotected to boot. Comics: 38 |
Justin "Grim Raker" PlanktonOnce known as a quiet and mysterious high scholar and amateur boxer named Justin Plankton, Justin took to Cow's philosophy of the rake and became "The Strangler." Justin was killed by a katana-wielding high scholar pretending to be a Ninja. But after toxic waste was poured on his grave, his seemingly immortal corpse emerged with acidic skin and the ability to shoot energy blasts from his fists. Henceforth re-named; The Grim Raker. Comics: 53 |
RaYzor "The Hitman" CadildoRaYzor "Hitman" Cadildo (or is it Constipatello?) is one of Crusher's oldest friends. As a young lad, he watched many pro-wrestling matches and became a fan of characters such as Shawn Michaels, Bret "Hitman" Hart, and Razor Ramon (Gee... I mean, he ripped off their names). Known as being a very outgoing extrovert, he is somewhat less known for the truth that he is a master of manipulation. He was champion pro-wrestler in his elementary school playground championships, and held the title throughout Middle School via conniving cheating and self-disqualification to preserve his title. When first hearing Guns n' Roses, he knew his goal in life was to grow his hair long and rule. Proficient at wrestling, an avid musician, and good with computor mashines, he set upon that path. [SPOILERS: RaYzor was recruited into Welforce by default - he was simply hiding in a Charity Donation box when Butski stumbled upon him. He was getting picked on by on-again/off-again friend, Conqueror Chris "Crasher" Chassis and had enough. He snapped. It began a long rise from lowly Welforce agent to the conspired defeat and hospitalization of Crasher, the betrayal of Welforce, and joining the Conquerors, blaming Crasher's coma on Ron Foule. He later on set his sights on Chrusher's leadership of the Conquerors, but led the team in to utter failure in their 1st loss to Welforce, and the rest of the team mutinied him. Chrusher's return saw Ray completely snap and be institutionalized, where he met people who resembled his idols. Chrusher later on forgave RaYzor for his crimes and Ray stayed in the Conquerors when the rest of the group quit. Ray has been a Conqueror ever since.] Comics: 134 |
Scott "The Cow" GangnoniScott is a strange lad who refers to himself as "The Overlord." Claims that his "power is too much," and often refers the drainage of all other "power sources" within his immediate vicinity. He also speaks often of greased rakes, telephone poles, fences, forks, pencils, crayons, chainsaws, lawn mowers, rusty pitchforks, bike chains and ice-picks up people's hind sides. Founder of "The Rake Hectors" and "The Saucy Chain of Doom." Once a foe of Chrusher, now an ally. Comics: 83 |
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As the Dark Conquerors pummel their enemies, rendering them into ruined, barely alive zombies at the Hospital, The Welphys enter the picture. Elderly, obese, cantankerous, abusive, hateful, two-faced coprophiliacs... the Welphy family take the ChrusherComix Universe to all-new lows. Don't believe me? Just read it. Stain your eyes for good. And watch Scott Gagnon laugh his ass off over it!
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