Characters

One of the janitor's in the proud Lancettie armada, became crazed and started making tragic messes in the school.

RaYzor "Hitman" Cadildo (or is it Constipatello?) is one of Crusher's oldest friends. As a young lad, he watched many pro-wrestling matches and became a fan of characters such as Shawn Michaels, Bret "Hitman" Hart, and Razor Ramon (Gee... I mean, he ripped off their names). Known as being a very outgoing extrovert, he is somewhat less known for the truth that he is a master of manipulation. He was champion pro-wrestler in his elementary school playground championships, and held the title throughout Middle School via conniving cheating and self-disqualification to preserve his title. When first hearing Guns n' Roses, he knew his goal in life was to grow his hair long and rule. Proficient at wrestling, an avid musician, and good with computor mashines, he set upon that path.

[SPOILERS: RaYzor was recruited into Welforce by default - he was simply hiding in a Charity Donation box when Butski stumbled upon him. He was getting picked on by on-again/off-again friend, Conqueror Chris "Crasher" Chassis and had enough. He snapped. It began a long rise from lowly Welforce agent to the conspired defeat and hospitalization of Crasher, the betrayal of Welforce, and joining the Conquerors, blaming Crasher's coma on Ron Foule. He later on set his sights on Chrusher's leadership of the Conquerors, but led the team in to utter failure in their 1st loss to Welforce, and the rest of the team mutinied him. Chrusher's return saw Ray completely snap and be institutionalized, where he met people who resembled his idols. Chrusher later on forgave RaYzor for his crimes and Ray stayed in the Conquerors when the rest of the group quit. Ray has been a Conqueror ever since.]

Cousin of Rob Reegan and neighbor of Chrusher who oddly does not mind shitting his pants like a child as long as no girls are around. Yeah, I don't know... pretty weird,

Character from the Star Wars Universe. Non-canon sketchbook artwork by Christopher Galletta Stevens.

Martial arts teacher that Ron Foule takes classes with. A hard teacher, who abuses his students.

Dumb kid.

A medium who has famously used her clairvoyance to solve crimes, occasionally on television.

Devil-worshipping heavy-metal rock rocker.

Character from the Transformers toy/cartoon/comic book/movie franchise. Non-canon appearance, just a sketchbook entry by author/artist Christopher Galletta Stevens

Math and Algebra teacher who once was the wrestling teammate of Gorilla Monsoon and knows of a can't-lose move known as "the buffalo."

Rictor is a good friend of Chrusher and joined the Conquerors after the high school era. A gentle giant, has power if needed, but would prefer to not use force to solve a problem. Speaking of problems... Rick has one related to gasses expended from his butt. Chrusher taught him to use the devastating move made popular by the late WWF wrestler Yokozuna called the "banzai drop", which dispatches Welforce agents in a most debilitating manner. Mostly a jovial soul with a sense of humor, he occasionally has bouts of "maturity" and looks down upon fart jokes and the like. Then he'll fart on you.

An ugly, skinny Lunaticial with a deep abiding passion for pencils, crayons and Phillips Head screwdrivers. Has the heart of Captain Hollander, although her heart may belong to another.

In the 1980s there was a boom of Ninja popularity. Not much was actually known about real Ninjutsu, but every kid loved ninjas in cartoons and movies and wanted to be one. Preston was another such case. Poor Preston had an acne problem that caused some mockery amongst his classmates. One incident was between him and Keith Clarkson. Animosity brewed. It took head with a fight at a school dance, one where Preston dressed as a black ninja, hid in the shadows, threatened to stab Keith in the heart with a sai, and left.

Keith was once a regular, every day high school teenager. However, when Cow and The Grim Raker took over his Science class and slashed his butt with a muto-powered rake, his face became permanently deformed and he grew four razor-sharp blades from each knuckle. Gets very angry when one points out the obvious - that he looks like a cross between Cobra Commander and Wolverine. Keith has a very dark outlook on life, and has been rumored to have studied mystic arts. Often goes on racist rants, which in turn has made some people call him "KKKeith." Has pure hatred for those who have crossed him. A sadistic and malicious prankster extraordinaire. Though an old friend of Chrusher, he's considered to be a loose cannon.

A high school gym teacher who was promoted to assistant principal. Enjoys giving students suspensions and in-house detention. Appears to answer to a school board called "The Jugglers."

Thomas is a world-renowned professor of fecal anthropology at the local University and is coprophagous, The perpetually angry father of Adam "A.C." Welphy (one of Chrusher & Musher's friends) has a serious problem with gas and explosive diarrhea, which he uses as a weapon. But sometimes... weapons can get out of control....

The Jules Phinnigan Phinster is a Lunaticial who is in a straight jacket who snorts anything in front of her pig-lkikenose. AKA "Miss Piglet Phinnster," her peculiar mannerisms and noises remind one of a living pig girl thingee.

Character from the Transformers toy/cartoon/comic book/movie franchise. Non-canon appearance, just a sketchbook entry by author/artist Christopher Galletta Stevens

A small frog who fell victim to the Barbarian love ritual.

Scott is a strange lad who refers to himself as "The Overlord." Claims that his "power is too much," and often refers the drainage of all other "power sources" within his immediate vicinity. He also speaks often of greased rakes, telephone poles, fences, forks, pencils, crayons, chainsaws, lawn mowers, rusty pitchforks, bike chains and ice-picks up people's hind sides. Founder of "The Rake Hectors" and "The Saucy Chain of Doom." Once a foe of Chrusher, now an ally.

Elementary school friend of Chrusher who joins the Conquerors for a mission against King Babah.

Dave is a long-time friend to RaYzor and even a longer-time friend to Chrusher. Despite this, he said the famous term, "Everybody likes Ray, but nobody knows why!" Smart, yet a bit scatterbrained and messy. Dave comes from a middle-class family, yet joins Welforce in a heartbeat. When asked why, considering he could be a Conqueror with his bud Chrusher, he said, "I'd rather be leader of Welforce than a mid-ranked Conqueror". Kind of tough due to many wrestling matches with his sadistic older brother, played football for a season or two as well. Does NOT like Chad Chadtraw, who is the believed secret identity for "The White Ninja of Death". is exceedingly sex-crazed... obsessed with getting chick tail and doesn't care who he tries with, even if they don't even desire his advances. This includes the young, old, skinny, fat, pretty, ugly... it's all good. And unprotected to boot.

A highly-trained special forces military unit that bears a passing resemblance to G.I. Joe, but isn't.

Character from the Star Wars Universe. Non-canon sketchbook artwork by Christopher Galletta Stevens.