Enter: Violent Felon-in-The-Making, Doug “Kick-You-In-The” Hilldick (and Raking Salmon!)
Posted on April 27, 1989 by Christopher Galletta Stevens
As Cow skins some salmon with rakes, David Scruanot adapts Welforce to new challenges -- via replacing an ineffective agent "Overy" while lowering a high food bill-- as he increases Welforce's ass-kicking quotient with a Doug Hilldick, an extremely unfriendly and unpredictably violent individual who just likes to threaten people for no reason and sucker-punch or knee people in the balls. (If that isn't a felon in the making, I don't know what is...)

Ray's Original Comic (that got my balls kneed harder than they had ever been kneed before or since... AND I DIDN'T EVEN WRITE IT!)

Real-Life Side-Story:

While the comics were usually parodies of friends that I knew (who loved being IN the comic and often bounced ideas off of me, some of which stuck), I did not know some of the people Ray was bringing into his comic. The people that he based Ray "Overy" Overton and Doug "Knee-you-in-the" Hilldick were pretty much total strangers to me. In fact, the 1st time I was introduced to one of them was as they expressed to me that they were going to kick my ass because of the comics. Ray's comics! Not my own... but Ray's! Dudes weren't too smart, were they? Well, my friend Dave D. stuck up for me once and served as a bodyguard for me, but one time I was in gym class, and without warning, I wound up on the ground in agony before I realized what happened. I was snuck up to and outta nowhere, my balls got fucking kneed extremely hard, by the guy "Doug" was based after. While this happened right in front of the gym teacher Mr. Dewey, who observed it in full and did absolutely nothing. I can't even begin to explain how fucked up the dude was... he even tried to trip me on a two-story staircase when I was walking with my girlfriend at the time. Who tries to trip people down two flights of hard brick and ceramic stairs unless they're trying to seriously hurt or even kill them? The dude was not right in the head at all. I don't know what happened to him, but he was out of the comics as soon as he was introduced because of that nutty ordeal. Thanks, Ray. I almost couldn't have kids or walk thanks to you.  

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