Character: Ian "The Brain" Babblet
Ian is a mathematical genius. Referred to as a human calculator, he often can solve any equation in his own mind before an average person can with a calculator. Due to this, he skipped two grades in public school. Being younger, more immature and far weaker than most of his classmates, he was a bit of an introverted, quiet nerd until he was recruited into Welforce by Foule and Butski. Once in Welforce, it was apparent that the other members were truly incompetent with stunningly low-IQ and sorry cognitive skills. Ian’s confidence started showing, as by year two, he went from the quiet strategist on the side to the full-fledged leader, and led Welforce to it’s 1st victory over the Conquerors in Chrusher’s absence. He developed a dark side in this period, frustrated that he was unable to score with hot chicks and as a firm believer in gay rights (before they were championed by the mainstream media and progressive socialists), even experimented with gay activities with Foule and Butski. Heartbroken that a chick that he was in puppy love with was in love with Chrusher, it fueled his anger and he became more obsessed with defeating the Conquerors. After high school, he joined the Navy and attempted to defeat RaYzor and Chrusher a handful of times, but lost. Chrusher believed that Ian buried the hatchet and they were to be friends, but losing his faith in God during college, he became an atheist evangelist of sorts, which again fanned the flames of his anger issues. Following his father’s footsteps, he has become a Nuclaer Engineer. His brother is Eric “Babs” Babblet, who is good friends with Chrusher, much to Ian’s dismay. He has been lurking in the background for years, apparently waiting to strike.
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“RUN AND GET A NEW HOLE!” | Crusher, The Return of… #1
Jan 30, 1995
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“That letter you sent me that said I sucked!” | Crusher, The Return of… #1
Jan 29, 1995
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“Stop me, I’m speaking Asgardian.” | Crusher, The Return of… #1
Jan 28, 1995
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“Soon it will be time for busting food stamp children.” | Crusher, The Return of… #1
Jan 22, 1995
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“Crass. Yet enchanting.” | Crusher, The Return of… #1
Jan 19, 1995
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“I shall send you greetings in the form of gas expended from my asshole.” | Chrusher, Return (1995)
Jan 18, 1995
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“You accomplished something ten years of Welforce couldn’t do! Kill an enemy agent!”
Jan 17, 1995
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“Remember who is in charge here, you pompous porkers!” | Crusher, The Return of… #1
Jan 16, 1995
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“Fuck! A bear! Shoot the fucker!” | Crusher, The Return of… #1
Jan 13, 1995
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“Whoa dude, he’s smart! He said that we are ‘in’ and ‘great’!” | Crusher, The Return of… #1
Jan 12, 1995