Fat, stupid, arrogant rednecks with FAR too much disposable income and living vicariously through their spoiled little snot-faced¬†brats have a new home… KIDDIE KARTWAY!

Run by a belligerent, beer-swilling, pot-smoking worker’s comp fraud cheat who lets his buddies and kids he likes cheat and populated by innocent parents and regular every day people just wanting to have a place to run karts and having NO idea they are being fleeced, cheated against and humiliated by cheats, thieves, and wanna-be millionaire race car drivers but are simply failed woodchucks that will cut your throat to win a silly little 5 minute GO-KART RACE! Don’t you DARE cross them or expose them… they be some NASTY fatassed woodchucks. Real racers beware…. the place to go to join the cheat clique or get the f*** out.


*NOTE: If you mock and attack me and my family online, don’t be upset when I do it back. I don’t really care how popular someone is, if they attack me, never apologize or take your words back, then I’ll give it back. Thanks!*

© 2009-10 Christopher Galletta Stevens

Aww, no more comics to read? Chris is lazy? Bullshit, son. Sit back and read hundreds upon hundreds of pages!

End Cycle – Part #2

The End Cycle graphic novel continues as we meet a Senator Stephen Foule, the intriguing relationship he has with his beautiful assistant, and we learn more about the grizzly murder scene as Dr. Welker examines the corpse found in issue #1.

End Cycle – Part #1

A serial killer has been systematically slaughtering people all over the world. And although forensic artist/private detective Chace “Chrusher” Kristoph has been tracking the psychopath for over a decade, he may have unwittingly become a target. All the while haunted by a beautiful woman from his past. A globe-spanning thriller about crime, love, hatred, and revenge. This Graphic Novel is being debuted in serialized comic book format before released as a book. This is the Rated-R edition of the book.¬†Go to the¬†1st page to begin reading!

What you have read above is not all there is to tell. The author has twenty years of interrelated (but interdependent) comics that occur before that storyline. They are as follows…

#32 | Holiday Special Annual РA Very Welphy Christmas

The Welphys go to the mall during the holiday shopping season. Some familiar characters are also there. Yeah… scene set… hijinx begin!

#31 | The RaYzor’s Edge #4 – The Defecation of Elephantitus

As the battle rages on between the united clans of a possessed Bastard Bucky’s Lunaticial Forces against at first Scott “The Cow” Gagnoni and then the Mighty Ricktor “Equalizer” Eicholzerson,
the possession of a far stronger and more powerful body than Bucky may turn the gathering into a virtual slaughter. Read now!

#30 | Clogged Butts & Lunaticials | The RaYzor’s Edge #3

The Lunaticials have arrived. So have some very angry, low-blood sugar,¬†fence-post-up-the-@$$¬†Welphys. Not to mention a roadkill-(zombie?) Ronald Foule. Suddenly, a karting event turns into a giant bruhaha involving Conquerors Chrusher, Musher, RaYzor, Ricktor, and Overlord Cow in the middle of a freak-show royal rumble in the Conquerors’ back yard. And why the hell do these people like playing with feces? Okay, c’mon now… guys, you’re making me draw¬†WHAT¬†now?

#29 | The Arrival of the Lunaticials | The RaYzor’s Edge #2

Chrusher and the gang look on in horror as RaYzor has been attacked by the loose cannon mercenary named Keith “Slasher” Clarkson – a¬†grown-@$$¬†madman who wears a hooded mask like Cobra Commander and sports very sharp Wolverine-like claws (since the “Raked @$$” incident of 1988 – see “Rake Science”). Keith is coming for revenge after their once friendly rivalry started getting out of hand (see the “Slasher Comics” fan art section). What will happen to poor ol’ RaYzor, who’s life seems to always take on these odd twists and turns of proud triumph followed by humiliation.

Meanwhile, an all new chapter is unfolding.¬†An all-new batch of characters, complete with a roll call! From a short¬†bus crash emerges a most peculiar lot — The Lunaticials!!!

#28 | The RaYzor’s Edge [& The Lunaticials Are Coming…]#1 (1997)

After the tragedy of “The Dark Conquerors vs.”¬†and¬†“Meet The Welphys”¬†– long-time friend of¬†ChrusherComix creator/author/artist Christopher Galletta Stevens¬†–¬†RaYzor Castaldo¬†attempts to take over the comics again for the first time since 1989 with¬†“RaYzor C.’s Hitman Comics”. Chris enjoys when other people assist in the ChrusherComix universe, and Ray’s efforts are usually made canon and built upon. Such is the case here. Ray’s comic leads us on a dark path… a path that takes us to a whole new world of insanity… a band of merry creatures called….¬†The Lunaticials. Read¬†NOW!

#27 | The Dark Conquerors #3 – The Introduction of the Welphys

As the Dark Conquerors pummel their enemies, rendering them into ruined, barely alive zombies at the Oswegonian Hospital, The Welphys enter the picture. Elderly, obese, coprophilias, cantankerous, abusive, hateful, two-faced… the Welphy family take the ChrusherComix¬†Universe to all-new lows. Don’t believe me? Just read it. Stain your eyes for good.

#26 | The Dark Conquerors #2: “Danny-Boy Triumphant?!”

Finishers Off The Roof!! Danny B The G f’n’ rules! No plot, just profusely beating on people & throwing them off hospital roofs into a pile and then mocking them as their ruined bodies simply do not die. If you like that kind of stuff, then¬†read it. If not, then skip it. When it comes down to it, people who read these get a big kick out of them. People who don’t.. miss out. Your choice.

#25 | “The Arrival of the Dark Conquerors” (10-Minute Quickie-Comic Series #1):

Darkness surrounds The Conquerors. Chrusher, Mush, RaYzor, Cow, and Ricktor have become twisted vigilantes, far from the goodie-two-shoes justice-seekers they had been for years. Chrusher has been slowly refining his mysterious and latent telekinetic powers, but seeing “goodness” steadily leaving the normal populace, he has turned from the way of peace and forgiveness that his eccentric, yet God-fearing mother Mare would prefer. Instead, he and his brethren have turned vengeful on those who have wronged them. This starts at the local speedway where arrogant, mildly retarded red-necks with too much disposable income and random Welforce agents stumble upon painful interludes. Beat-downs, pain, hospitalizations, and laughter will ensue. Watch as their enemies finally get a come-uppance… yet do not perish in the sight of what are clearly lethal injuries grievously¬†inflicted upon them. Drawn as a goof with a beer buzz in 10 minutes or less. Not my best art nor story, but chock-full of sadistic violence and some quite funny moments if you like that stuff. And wait… what?! NO! Danny Boyce’s complete and utter victory?! How is this possible?!¬†Find out.

#24 | Scherzo for Latex Muscle Suit & Orchestra at RaYzor’s Funeral | Return of the Chrusher #3

RaYzor is dead? The funeral proceedings with a large contingent of old and new ChrusherComix characters all conglomerated in a funeral home? With RaYzor’s corpse in a casket?! It seems like a recipe for disaster to me.

#23 | “Old Friends | New Enemies” |¬†The Return of Chrusher #2

As Welforce gains new members in Corey & The Shark, old Conquerors are tempted by the Welf-side. Flashbacks to part-tie Conqueror Jo-Jo Bunn’s backyard football game rampages begin to weave the tale of the downfall of the Conquerors as we know them.

#22 | The Return of Crusher #1: “The Scourge of The Scovillian”

ChrusherComix (Christopher’s Crusher¬†Comics) has returned after a few years on hiatus after high school, and the main protagonist of the series¬†– Chace “Chrusher” Stevenson ¬†– has been kidnapped by his fellow high school vigilante from a neighboring school. But why would his good fellow¬†freedom-fighting friend kidnap and mock him after both have graduated high school and begun their adult lives? And Welforce may have disbanded after the events of Welf-War, but the does not stop RaYzor the Hitman from attempting harm upon Ronald Foule just like his high school days, while¬†Ian Babblet is out to assemble new agents. Part of a three part series, fully inked with¬†colored covers.

#21 | The (Tr)Ogre Soundtrack Storybook | ChrusherComix One-Shot Annual

A perverse side-chapter in the ChrusherComix Universe! Wesley “TrOgre” Stevenson is introduced! The Ogre Soundtrack’s Read-Along/Sing-Along Storybook Also accompanied by a 2-CDR set available for $15, contains material by Chris ‘ChrusherComix’ Stevens, Matt “Galletta’s” Stevens, RaYzor C., Eric ‘Babs’ Babbitt, and A.C. Murphy!

#20 | The Welfwar to End All Welforce, the Headstrong Posse & the Golden Crayon

The Chrusher and his friends (and classmates) have made it to their 4th and final season at the Oswegonian High School. We have seen much during the crazy first three years. Chrusher and the Conquerors meets their doppelgangers of nearby Pulasonian High, a group known as The Headstrong Posse Led led by Martin Scovillian & The Spiceman Spicer! And  they meet Cow Gangnoni, who is seeking a most rare collectible Рa Golden Crayon! Ian Babbler, Ronald Foule and Mike Butski break up Welforce with a welf-war! And a matte black garbed entity lurks in the horizon, lethal and clearly psychotic. Enjoy the giant finale of 1992!

#19 | Battle of the Bloodsword | Crusher Comics: Year Three, Part 4

What the fuck has the 16-year-old Chrusher and his high school buds gotten themselves into? They go directly in a head-on attack of a secret castle dwelling a large, armored, sword-wielding crime lord?! Oh, and he has a ninja clan to boot. A kinda’ wimpy, Saturday-morning jobber one, but one nonetheless. I mean, are you kidding me? This cannot end well. These boys are WAY over their heads. Battle of the Bloodsword wraps up Year Three of ChrusherComix. And not all will survive. Promise.

#18 |¬†Fort Crusher… GONE! |¬†Year Three, Issue #3

The small, yet formerly indomitable Fort Crusher, headquarters for the Mighty Conqueror group, has been destroyed in the rampage of Barbarian Howeird. Clues pile up lead Chrusher to Anil Inc., and it’s head… King Babah – a mysterious crime lord with chromed armor! Meanwhile, Masuto continues his search in American for a lost master to teach him one of the lost arts… The Buffalo!¬†Read it today!

#17 | The Bezerker! The Hybrid Renegade Barbarian РSteven Howeird | Year 3: Issue #2

Wallowing in the dump¬†after being humiliated after being bested by fellow new recruits while trying out for the Conquerors, what little sanity Steven had has now been extinguished. He begins chanting in an undetermined (and possibly made up?) language, says he is the offspring of several nonsensical mixes of ethnicities (that would be difficult, if not near-impossible, to be), wears nothing but a loincloth of some sort of jackal, hyena or large wild cat, wields a giant axe, does not wash nor groom himself, has a perverse worship of feces, and most bizarre of all… his sexuality takes an extremely curious freedom from boundaries – with woman, man, and animal all seemingly fair game to his rampaging hormone-driven rage! I defy you to find a crazier, sicker, stupider-looking comic book villain ANYWHERE! And this was made twenty years before Adult Swim or anything even close to it.¬†Parental discretion… this… is fvcked.

#16 | The Chaos Conjuror! The Revelation of Babah & The Bloodsword Seeker

It is the year 1991, and a new villain has been revealed. As seen in last season’s “Last DaYz of the Glare”, someone has been¬†trying to assassinate Chrusher, hiring his friend and fellow Conqueror RaYzor, mutant-like gangsters, Ninjas, his greatest foe Obliterator, and even a now perished girlfriend.¬†The greatest challenge lies ahead for the Conquerors¬†– Oswegonian High School Justice-Seeking Vigilante Team. And a prelude into one of the most perplexing, odd, unique, dangerous, insane, sadistic, immoral – and hilarious characters in the ChrusherComix Universe – Steven “The Renegade Barbarian Bond” Howeird!Let the madness of Howeirdmania begin!

#15 | The Last DaYz Of The Glare: Part IV – The Asylum with Guns n Poseurs

RaYzor has been incarecrated and instiutionalized. Apparently, the mad rise and fall that began in Welforce #1 has finally hit rock bottom. But RaYzor meets his role models – Guns n Roses – in the Asylum?! Wait… that’s not them. Looks like ’em… but not them. Will RaYzor be on the road of recovery? Or will he relapse?¬†Find out.

#14 |¬†The Last DaYz Of The Glare: Part III – Crusher is Back… RaYzor Snaps.

Chrusher returns from his apparent death/coma and amnesiac episode (because that has never happened before in fiction, right?) to greet his comrade RaYzor, who watched over the Conquerors while he was gone. But something’s wrong. RaYzor has snapped – lost to Welforce, mutinied by the Conquerors, defeated by Obliterator AND Ron Foule, lost most of his luxurious hair, lost what little weight he had, and near suicide, has now turned homicidal, and turned fire on Chrusher upon his comeback! And he isn’t the only one with sights on his death! The saga FINALLY starts developing some of those seeds of the grander plot that have been carefully buried throughout the story thus far (and thusly, most people have all missed).¬†Enjoy!

#13 | The Last DaYz Of The Glare: Part II – Welforce Triumphs

After being defeated by Welforce, in what would be the 1st ever defeat the Conquerors took vs. the gang of misfits, Commander RaYzor is gradually losing control of the Conquerors, and with it, his sanity and his hair. He also wasn’t prepared for the massive target placed on one’s back when becoming leader of the Conquerors… namely Chrusher’s arch enemies. *Cough* Obliterator… *cough* more murderous than ever… *cough*

#12 | The Last DaYz of the Glare РPart 1 РCrusher is Gone?! RaYzor In Command?!

Chrusher is dead. Killed by the juvenile named, “Roboman” Reegun, an immature¬†12-year-old boy – with an unhealthy obsession with evil masterminds in both human history and fiction – dressed up on a metal suit that dangerously emits lethal amounts of energy. Instructions left by Chrusher deemed¬†the remaining Conquerors to have a No Holds Barred/Mixed- Martial-Arts/Wrestling/Boxing battle royale at Fort Crusher to determine who will become the new leader. RaYzor cheats to win, and leads the Conquerors into battle against the Welforce and their new leader – Ian “The Brain” Babble, who disposed of prior leader David Scruanot and easily outsmarted Butski and Foule. But are they too much for RaYzor’s abilities? His massive ego takes a tremendous blow when the unthinkable happens. ¬†Read it.

#11 | The Rize of The RaYzor (Jumbo-Sized Issue)

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Year Two bring Clouds of Darkness… a time most foreboding to the ChrusherComix Universe. Chrusher has gained a small amount of attention and fame when his exploits as a justice-loving high school vigilante (and his good friend Aaron Terminator’s mysterious passing) get noticed in the high school newspaper and television station. Secondly, the attention has garnered him interest¬†between three young ladies – classmates of his, and while one would think that the lustful affections of three well-developed¬†teenage girls would be heavenly for teenage Chrusher, his shyness around pretty girls and the attention from jealous boyfriend rivals is anything but for our young hero. Meanwhile, Hitman “RaYzor” Cadildonian is in a race against time as he must try to stop Chris “Crasher” Chassis from telling Chrusher the truth – that RaYzor attempted to destroy Crasher to take his place in the Conquerors as Chrusher’s 2nd in command. He enlists David SCruanot to help. All while Chrusher’s little brother’s friends want to join in Chrusher’s Conquerors, and create super-hero secret identities to impress the older Conquerors.¬†One of them, the¬† juvenile named Robbie “Roboman” Reegun, an immature¬†12-year-old boy – with an unhealthy obsession with evil masterminds in both human history and fiction – dressed up on a metal suit that dangerously emits lethal amounts of energy, and Chrusher is caught in an electric blast that leaves him incapacitated and believed dead. A will¬†believed left by Chrusher instruct the remaining Conquerors to have a No Holds Barred/Mixed- Martial-Arts/Wrestling/Boxing battle royale at Fort Crusher to determine who will become the new leader. RaYzor cheats to win, and leads the Conquerors into battle against the Welforce. But are they too much for RaYzor’s abilities?¬†Read it.

#10 | The Wrath of the Rake – Season One Jumbo-Sized Finale!

Chrusher, Terminator, and Crasher may have bested Obliterator in the past. And Slasher may have hospitilized Cow and Wanna-be-Ninja Chadtraw may have killed Justin who became the Grim Raker… year year. But… see… they combined forces in the hospital. Now… the Conquerors and Welforce will have to combine forces to defeat this mad trio. Jumbo-sized finale to season one!¬†Enjoy!

#9 | MEGA-RON!, (Puberty Strikes and the Menace of…)¬†| Welforce II – Classic Crusher Comics #9

Puberty struck Ron Foule hard when he saw a Playboy magazine that fellow Welforce Agent Mike Butski was drooling over. Now he knows the critical difference between a man and a woman, and seeks a hot chick to experiment upon. However, the (really HOT) chick escaped thanks to Chrusher’s help. Then Cow raked Foule’s ass with a mutogen-coated rake. Ron then mutates into the last thing he¬†touched and becomes… MEGA-RON!

#7 | Hitman RaYzor’s Hostile Takeover | Welforce II – Classic ChrusherComix #7

The fourteen-year old¬†high school freshman¬†who calls himself Hitman – and who others call him (S)Hitman – RaYzor Cadildo has a master plan. As a member of Welforce by default – as they moved in on his elementary school pro-wrestling grounds and adapted him into their ranks – he plots to join Chrusher’s Conquerors at the expense his fellow¬†– and soon-to-be-former¬†– Welforce agents. Betrayal, backstabs, maniacal laughter, sadistic smackdowns and mass-defeat are soon to follow. RAISE YOUR FULL-LOADED CONDOM LAUNCHERS!¬†FIRE!¬†Also icludes “(S)Hitman Comics!” and “Mega-Ron!”

#6 | Welforce‚ĄĘ, The | Chrusher Comix Classics #6

When police apprehend the¬†juvenile delinquent¬†hooligan nerds that were raiding Charity boxes, The COMMANDAH’ decides to utilize them instead of punishing them. He gave them a job! Hired to now protect the locations they once stole from. This new unit is called…¬†THE WELFORCE!

#5 | The Night Rise of the Grim Raker | Crusher Comics Classics #5

Justin Plankton’s severed arm (at the hands of a high school student dressed like a ninja and flailing a katana blade around) has cost him his life. But in the 1980s, there was this problem of dumping toxic waste everywhere and making hings mutate. Well, the toxic waste was dumped on Justin’s grave. Yeah, you know what happens when that happens. Yep. All that and Keith “Slasher” Clarkson has a showdown at the high school dance with Preston” Pain Master”, another wanna-be ninja.¬†Go. Read.

#4 | Rake Science | Classic ChrusherComix #4

Scott “The Cow” Gagnoni returns, and “the power will be too much for “Mish Wood!” When Cow takes over the class, he – with his perverse assistant, Justin ‘Strangler’ Plankton – begins to school his¬†fellow classmates in the art of – RAKE SCIENCE! What is rake science, you say? ¬†Find out.¬†One of the stupidest, yet funniest comics in the 1st season of Crusher Comics.

#3 | The Obliterator’s Revenge | Crusher Comics Classics #3

The Obliterator – a ‘roid-raging bully to pwn all bullies – is back, and he has not forgotten when Chrusher and Terminator has done to him. Revenge – especially in the hands of an unstoppable madman with incredible strength and determination – is a most lethal combination. An important afterschool special on how ‘roid rage can be cool when the comic’s protagonists get their asses beat down, and a janitor gets killed because, well, fvck it… he was stupid enough to intervene when s#it was going down. The bastard.¬†Go.

#2 | The Fury of the Teenage Mutant Raking Cow | CLASSIC CHRUSHERCOMIX #2

“Chrusher” must face the crazed student known as Scott “The Cow” – and the madness of his lethal rakes. Yes, I said rakes. But Cow is not the only foe that is lurking… a powerful enemy with an insatiable desire for inflicting pain is waiting in the wings for violent revenge! A digitally re-mastered collection of the “Chris’ Crusher Comics” Mini-Issues #4-6 from 1988 printed for the very first time!¬†Read.

#1 | Chris’ The Mighty Crusher Comics¬†–¬†Chrusher vs. Foule vs. Butski! (Classic ChrusherComix #1)

It is the year 1988, and two 14-year-old high school misfits and nerds — named Mike Butski and Ronald Foule — have a fight in the Oswegonian High School hallways, then drag Chris Crusher into their spat. This seemingly meaningless high school disagreement birthed a twenty year grudge match which spreads all the way to the “Chrusher: End Cycle” graphic novel. Witness the humble beginnings of the “ChrusherComix” universe and watch it grow from an amateur, silly serial in a high school notepad twenty years ago to a full-fledged comic book today. The complete collection begins with this issue, which is itself a collection of the first three mini-issues in normal comic book format.¬†Enjoy!

None of this your thing? Like lighter, more child-friendly fare? Well, take all of the ChrusherComix characters and put them in a Peanuts and Calvin & Hobbes timewarp. And you’ll have…

The Adventures of Towner & Friends Comics

Welcome to the little-brother comic of ChrusherComix. Imagine if some of the zanier characters from the ChrusherComix Universe were put in a time-warp, adult-humor, mature situations and violence filtered out, and properly infused with Calvin and Hobbes DNA. What happens? The Adventures of Towner & Friends is what happens. A family-friendly/all-ages-appropriate comic strip! Want a book for yourself and your kids to read? The complete collection  is available via a printed anthology at IndyPlanet! Sample the book on the website here! (If the above Towner website is down, it will be back up soon. But in the meantime, the old site is still up.)

I hope you read them all and enjoy them as much as I have doing them. They say that if every webcomic had 100 fans that read every comic, purchased printed copies¬†&¬†merch, and voted for the comic in webcomic pupularity polls… then said comic would be a success and the artist/writer/creator could spend his/her FULL-TIME creating new comics and wouldn’t need a day job. But… the world is filled with the apathetic, the brainwashed, and the freeloaders. In other words… if you scroll by all of those thousand+ pages of comic books and comic strips that put most free webcomics to utter shame and read none? Well. Go.¬†Fuck off then, bitch.