Characters

Annette Welphy is the obese, angry, elderly, and delusional wife of Thomas Welphy and adoptive mother of AC Welphy. She has two personas - a public one where she is an active and upstanding member of the community, and a private one, where she is extremely slothful, angry and abusive to her own family and immediate friends. Occasionally has dizzy spells that leave her doing strange things to her hind. Although she is elderly and obese, she employs one of the most devastating maneuvers known to mankind... the "EAT-ME-OUT-CROTCH-ROT-TORTURE-HOLD-REVERSE-PEDIGREE." Best to NOT find yourself in it.

Just a tag for hot chicks in the comic. Because I wanted to.

Character from the Star Wars Universe. Non-canon sketchbook artwork by Christopher Galletta Stevens.

A mysterious captured woman in Barbarian Howeird's bedroom wall. Is she dead or alive behind the wall? Nobody knows.

The brother of Chrusher. The strong, silent type, he is calculating, brooding, and has a unbreakable moral character. Although short, very powerful and subject to explosive outbursts when angered. Helps out his brother Chrusher as he became a member of his amater viginate group after high school. Good at figuring out mechanical objects, and is also known to have a green thumb. Although soft-spoken, he is quite proud of his muscles.

Parents of Juston Plankton.

Elementary school friend of Chrusher who joins the Conquerors for a mission against King Babah.

A nerdy lad who was recruited into Welforce, but is a background fodder/pawn.

John (AKA "Jo-Jo Bunns") is the twin brother of Jim Kibbles. Although they do look somewhat alike, and have a few similar interests, their personalities really couldn't be different. Jim is mild-mannered, jovial, good sense of humor, cool-tempered, and thinks before he speaks. His brother is somewhat the antithesis of this, as he speaks before he thinks, has a sadistic sense of humor and has a nasty temper. The twins are longtime friends of the Chrusher and are honorary members of the Conquerors group, although neither of them go on very many missions due to the Kibbles mom forcing them to do more chores than most teenagers are required to do. Same with Chrusher's famous "Chrusher Coliseum" backyard football games, where both played many a down, but often had to leave to do chores. Jim tries to keep his twin brother calm and collected, but to no avail, as John will just as soon bloodily smash his brother in the face repeatedly than calm down.

John's temper and sadism is legendary, as he is your best buddy and will be the nicest guy you would ever want to meet in private. Then, in public, he has a desire to be show off, which also garnered him the name, 'Cool guy.' And part of being a show-off will often be mocking and BULLYING - friend, stranger, or foe alike. Notorious for picking on anybody smaller than him (which is many, as he's a pretty stocky, tough kid), but try to be overly nice to anybody bigger than him.

Jo-Jo's oddest feature is his butt. Usually normal-sized, when he grows angry, his butt cheeks grow. And grow. And grow. Truthfully, butt cheeks that big should be humanly impossble. But... there they are.

A group of nerds, misfits, and dorks originally hired to protect Charity Donation boxes from thieves. The group was hijacked from its original mission and now seems bent solely on defeating the Conquerors.

A big lad and friend of Chrusher who's biggest claim to fame in this comic was one of the only people who successfully got his hands on Butski and kicked his ass. Butski is very squirmy and tougher than he looks. Dave is a good guy, and Conqueror, but isn't heavily featured.

Chace Kristoph (formerly known as Chris "Crusher" Stevenson) is the main protagonist of this comic book and graphic novel. Hurled into the spotlight unwittingly, as he was just a regular, every day, normal high school freshman in Oswegonia, a childish game of one-upmanship between he, Mike Butski and Ron Foule became a full-fledged grudge match as time went on. Formed The Conquerors, a group of good ol' boy high schoolers of all stripes against mischievous, trouble-making classmates and later on, corrupt teachers.

Raised by his mom and adoptive uncle Wesley "TrOgre" Stevenson (who he believed was his father for years, as his father was killed in Southeast Asia when he was a youth), he received a ruby-bloodstone crucifix from his grandfather which was apparently the induction into a mystic group of vigilantes known as the Chr'shr, a secret group of justice-seeking vigilantes that work outside of the restrictions of law in cases of criminals who also operate as otherwise untouchable by the law (or in control of it).

His character the straight man amidst the craziness of the rest of the book, but often getting dragged into and joining the craziness of those around him. Strong moral fiber, intelligent, athletic, trained and highly-skilled in several martial arts, Chrusher later on becomes a private detective with a background in Forensic science and a skill at forensic art, while secretly being a member of the Ch'Shr secret society of vigilantes.

Claims to be the ghost of a man who died of the disease Elephantiasis, but some believe is a demon who possesses people and gives them extraordinary powers, albeit at the cost of visible physical deformation.

Michael "Misfit Biscuit" Butski is an extremely odd fellow - and the 1st character ever created in the ChrusherComix universe. Star of the long-lost "Misadventures of Mike Butski" comic (that was confiscated by middle school teachers in 1987), he was then the 2nd character ever seen in Classic ChrusherComix #1, fighting off the advances of the sexually confused Ronald Foule. Usually clad in his nerdy taped-up glasses, beige/tan cowboy/polo shirt, and army green pants, and a thin layer of filth, dirt and grime, he is unmistakable with giant cheeks and a shit-eating grin when he's up to something. Apparently comes from a middle-class rural farmer/hunter family (although never seen), yet is a complete and total scrounge who scavenges everything and anything he can. Claims to have sweet motorbikes, ATVs and expensive BMX bicycles that he claims are expensive (yet nobody ever does see him in them). In other words, he looks dirt poor, claims that his family is well-off, but he's kind of a welfare fraud and notorious cheat either way. Borrows (without ever repaying), looks like a street kid (but apparently lives in a nice-sized family home), and steals from charity donation bins. Claims to score with hot chicks, yet nobody ever sees him with any. He is the friend of Chrusher, yet his dishonest scrounging sometimes puts him at odds with Crush. When caught stealing from the Charity boxes, he was recruited into Welforce, he began a longstanding rivalry with Crusher's justice-seeking, amatuer high school vigilante group - the Conquerors.

Lunaticial in love with "Door Knob" Phillipshead,

Chad is a young man with his hands in many things. Video games, comic books, pets, philosophy, movies... and robotics. Has a remote-controlled robot which packs some serious firepower, which got him recruited into the Conquerors. But where does a teenager in the early 1990s get such high technology anyway?

The First Conqueror. Come to classmate Chrusher's aide when he was being roughed-up by the behemoth Obliterator, and then formed The Conquerors with his friend Chrusher. Handsome, muscular, a bit of a brash and arrogant ladies man whose aggression is diffused by boning his hot teenage girlfriend at friends houses and leaving bedsheets thoroughly soiled of teenage sexuality.

[SPOILER ALERT] Tragically lost in a massive explosion attempting to diffuse Grim Raker's self-destruct mechanism in "The Wrath of the Rake" 1988-89 season one finale.

Dr. Davies taught forensic science and commercial art. Two of his students in both classes were Oswegonia High's Chrusher and Pulaskunian High's Magic Marty Scovillian, each school's lead vigilantes. Davies also apparently had a past as a vigilante himself, and reveals startling secrets to Chrusher about his past and future.

Daniel "Danny" Lancettie was also known as Oswegonia High's Janitor #1. That is NOT something taken lightly. He was the elder statesman and the commander of the custodial fleet, a proud group who serve with passion. When he stumbled upon a scuffle in the janitor's closet between Chrusher and Obliterator, he became involved. His life was finished when he tried stopping the fight, and Obliterator shattered him with a single blow. The event then caused a chain reaction, as his loyal co-workers plotted revenge... however... revenge against Chrusher.

Jim is the twin brother of John "Jo-Jo Buns" Kibbles. Although they do look somewhat alike, and have a few similar interests, their personalities really couldn't be different. Jim is mild-mannered, jovial, good sense of humor, cool-tempered, and thinks before he speaks. His brother is somewhat the antithesis of this, as he speaks before he thinks, has a sadistic sense of humor and has a nasty temper. The twins are longtime friends of the Chrusher and are honorary members of the Conquerors group, although neither of them go on very many missions due to the Kibbles mom forcing them to do more chores than most teenagers are required to do. Same with Chrusher's famous "Chrusher Coliseum" backyard football games, where both played many a down, but often had to leave to do chores. Jim tries to keep his twin brother calm and collected, but to no avail, as John will just as soon bloodily smash his brother in the face repeatedly than calm down.

A failed short track dirt stock driver who became too morbidly obese to race anymore that his neck got hurt repeatedly stuffing his fatass into his race car (neck couldn't get in... too much blubber), and is known as a master cheat engine who put his now-retired skills to good use by cheating for his kids and friends at the local itty-bitty-tiny-whiney-cutesy kil' kartway track downtown. Has no conscious and does not mind cheating to win, sees no point in winning in equalized, fair-and-square machines... if its his kids or his neighbors or the price is right, you can have an illegal motor that will beat people with ten times your talent and experience. Worried about post-race inspections! BWHAHA! HE IS THE INSPECTOR! And if he ain't? His buddy is. Look better than you are by winning at ALL costs and that's the way it is. But what about his kids? Surely, they are good, innocent kids who want to go out and race and compete to win, right? Lessons learned alright... cheatin' wins, sons!

Prized, award-winning pug dogs of the Welphy household owned by a very proud Annette Welphy. Won many awards and shit on many a floor.

Lunaticial overlord in a wheelchair. Incredibly smart.

Lunaticial with swollen lips.

Donald "Donny" Lancettie is a member of the CCCP (Crazed Communist Custodial Party), a Neo-Marxist group of janitors. When their #1 - Don's father Daniel - fell in the line of duty. Now he swears revenge.

Ronald "The Cool Fool" Foule is the quintessential nerd. Tall, skinny, pale, socially awkward, questionable fashion sense, studious at schoolwork... he really only lacks thick glasses to be the full model nerd. Ronnie began his freshman year of high school continuing his odd middle school fixation with one Michael Butski. Ron was somewhat sexulaly confused, being attracted to Butski, until Butski showed him a Playboy magazine, and Ron then woke up and started developing feelings for women as well. However, he still had an odd affection for Butski, who actually did make out with him a few times... (EEWW!). Friends with Chrusher, although at times tried to prove his toughness which got the ENTIRE COMIC started via a silly high school classmate rivalry. [SPOILER ALERT: Ronald grew up to be a secretive, but productive member of society, working for his father's corporation and actually married to a stunning blonde.]

The mother of Chrusher and Mush. In disguise. Because. I don't know why. Maybe has something to do with Chrusher's late father? Or... I Just drew her that way. If I think fo something... I'll edit this profile.

A wandering Lunaticial who rubs shit on his neck and welds it on with a blowtorch. Very aggressive and territorial when finding shit. Brother of Fucked-Up-Eye-Man Svengoli.

Older brother of Corey Marone. More mature than his goof-ball bro, and a big and athletic guy who dominated Chrusher Coliseum football games, to the point of friends Chrusher and Egglestone drawing up elaborate football plays to attempt to defeat him. Jamie was part of a group of Conqueror tryouts who got into the group by demolishing Barbarian Howeird and throwing his unconscious and humiliatingly nude body into the dump. Jamie one day decided to turn on Chrusher, and abruptly quit the Conquerors and snubbed Chrusher for life without any reason.